The
rising sun signalled the start of a new day, bringing light and
warmth to the world below, yet for many of the passengers on the
7:30AM train this spectacle of nature passed by mostly unnoticed.
Aidan
leafed idly through the morning paper. There had been another big
sell-off in the stock market, and the analysts were predicting
disaster, as usual. He rolled his eyes and flipped to the next page.
He'd seen it all by now, the major firms were well insulated against
such market fluctuations, and most private investors would just hold
on to their stocks until they eventually rose again. In truth, the
world was a pretty stable place, much more so than most would like to
admit.
The
sun caught his eye for a moment, reflecting off the bay. He folded
his paper on his lap and glanced out the window. It was a clear day
today, hardly a cloud in the sky. He shifted his back a bit so the
light was out of his eyes and went back to his paper.
The
train pulled into the station around 8:20. It was Friday today, so
it wasn't as crowded as some mornings. The lineup at the coffee shop
was short enough that he might have been able to stop for a snack,
but he'd had a full breakfast today and had a lot of work to do in
the office. It was a crisp day outside, not quite cold yet, but cool
enough to keep him walking at a brisk pace. He crossed the few
blocks leading up to his building, just the same as he had every
morning for all these years.
“Good
morning, sir”, the receptionist greeted him.
“Good
morning, Brad”, he replied. Brad had been the doorman at his
building for a few years now, ever since Nicole left to go back to
school. He was faultlessly polite, but a very private man, Aidan
doubted anyone at the office knew him terribly well. Aidan took the
elevator up to his floor, went to the coffee machine for a cup of
coffee, then walked into his office, sat down in his chair, and set
about unpacking his briefcase. He still had to finish summarizing
their accounts for today's meeting. He took out the papers he had
finished last night, laid them out neatly on his desk, and started
typing his notes into the computer.
He
had finally achieved his goal a little less than a year ago. The
directors had decided that Walder Financial needed to be more
proactive in the technology sector, so they had created a new team to
focus specifically on technical investments. Few of the established
mangers had much experience in that area, so they felt they could use
someone younger to lead the team, and his initiative and experience
had brought him to the top of the list. His was a small team, a
handful of kids fresh out of school who spoke in complicated
technical terms he rarely understood, but it was his all the same.
His hard work had finally paid off, though in truth his life hadn't
changed terribly much for it. The work was a bit more interesting
now, and he no longer had to work late at nights, but he found he had
to take more of his work home now so he didn't really have much more
free time than before. The pay was a lot better, but he hadn't been
spending a lot of it, so far most of it was just going into his
investment portfolio, squirrelled away for a time in his life where
he might have more use for it. He flipped to the next set of
reports.
Aidan
was still working on his presentation at lunch time, having spent
much of his morning on phone calls and short little meetings with his
employees. They were all headed down to the lunchroom now, chatting
away about their computer games and TV shows. Aidan almost never ate
in the lunchroom anymore. The other managers went out for lunch most
days, but Aidan didn't really fit in with them yet, and Dan had left
the company at least 5 years ago now, so most days he ate lunch in
his office. Today he needed to work through lunch anyway, he had a
presentation to finish and he wanted to make sure he would be done
all of his work before the end of the day because he was actually
going out tonight. Dan and Nicole were celebrating their tenth
wedding anniversary and they had invited a handful of friends over
for a party.
It
seemed hard to believe it had been ten years since they were married.
He could still remember the wedding, Dan had insisted that he be the
best man after he had encouraged him to pursue the relationship, but
after what had happened between him and Nisha he hadn't felt terribly
up to it. He had done his best to be cheerful and boisterous anyway,
but privately he had been sceptical that they would last. Clearly
they had proven him wrong by now, and by all accounts things seemed
to be going wonderfully for them. Dan had worked hard to get a
better job so he could support the family, Nicole had quit her job as
a receptionist to go and complete her degree, and they also found
time to have a child together. He hadn't seen Dan for a while, but
every time they spoke he always sounded very happy.
Aidan
sighed. It had been around ten years since he'd seen her, too. He
had stayed put this whole time, making it easy for her to find him if
she ever wished to, but he hadn't seen or heard from her even once
since that night she walked out on him. He picked up the little
picture he kept on his desk and glanced at the happy young couple
staring back at him. He hardly even recognized them anymore, it felt
like a lifetime had gone by since he had been that person. Several
times he had thought about getting rid of the picture, but he could
never quite bring himself to do it. He settled for laying it
face-down on his desk so he could get some work done.
Later
that afternoon he had his meeting with the higher-ups. His
presentation went well, they never really questioned what he had to
say, though he was always afraid that they would. The meeting
wrapped up around 4:00, and most of the executives packed up for the
day. Dan's party wasn't until 7:00, so Aidan took the time to chat
with some of the other managers about the general state of the
business, then went back to his department to check on his employees
and tidied up a few other things in his office before leaving the
office around 5:30. He picked up a bottle of wine and got on the bus
to head over to Dan's new place.
“Aidan!
You made it!” Dan said, giving Aidan a hearty hug and accepting
the gift. “Come in, come in!”
This
was actually his first time visiting Dan's new home. It was smaller
than his parents' house, but much more lively, especially with all
the guests over that night. Not counting Dan, Nicole, and their two
children, there were eight all told, though he didn't recognize most
of them. He thought he had seen one of them a few times when they
used to go Carson's together, but the only person he knew well was
Tina. He was a bit surprised to see her, even though she had been
Dan's friend too they had rarely associated except through him.
Aidan hadn't spoken to her much lately, things had kind of been
awkward between them ever since that night when he told her off over
the phone. He knew that she and Frank had divorced a few years ago,
and she was here alone tonight, just as he was.
“Nicole's
been slaving away in the kitchen all day”, Dan said, gesturing
towards his wife. “She locked me in the garage after I got in her
way too many times.”
“And
yet somehow you kept coming back”, she added.
“Hey,
I said I would help”, he said, snuggling up to her.
“And
I appreciate your help, honey, just not when we have guests coming
over”. Dan laughed as she brushed him aside again. Aidan could
tell they were very close.
“It
does smell very good”, Aidan said. The sweet scent of glazed ham
filled the whole house, and all of the guests seemed to be looking
forward to it.
“It's
almost ready”, she replied, handing her husband a stack of plates.
“Why don't you pour everyone a glass of wine and help me set the
table?”
“My
pleasure”, Dan said, leaving Aidan to mingle with the other guests.
The
dinner was excellent, so much so that there wasn't a lot of
conversation, though they did propose a toast to the the cook and the
happy couple. After they finished eating the adults sat around and
talked while David played with their younger son, Mark. Though they
were many years apart, the kids seemed to get along well, and seeing
the whole family together Aidan couldn't help but feel like he had
missed out on a few things. He met the rest of the people at the
party, they were mostly people from Dan's new job, and they talked
very cordially about themselves and their livelihood. One man seemed
very interested in Aidan's work with technology, so he talked for him
for a while. Eventually, Dan took a couple of the guests downstairs
to see something or other, leaving the rest of them to their own
devices. Aidan spoke with Nicole for a bit, he learned that she had
originally been studying science when she had David, but now she was
taking engineering to try to make it easier to find a job. She knew
she was a bit old to be starting a new career, but she was hoping to
find work in the public sector. She also told him a bit about the
kids, David was going to be starting university soon and she was very
nervous about it, but Aidan reassured her that he would do fine.
Eventually she went to talk to someone else and he was left alone for
a moment.
“Hi,
Aidan. It's been a long time, hasn't it?”
“Hello,
Tina. Yes, it has.”
“So,
how has your life been?”
“Not
bad. I'm a manager at my company now.”
“That's
great, congratulations.”
“How
about you?”
“Oh,
same old. Still writing, mostly freelance now. It's not as
consistent but I get to write what I want.”
“That's
good. What do you think about Dan and Nicole making it ten years?”
“I'm
happy for them, but I'm not really surprised. It's a bit of a
strange pairing, with the age difference and all, but when I saw how
happy they were at the wedding I knew it was going to last.”
“I
wasn't so sure.”
“Oh,
really? Dan seems to think you were the one who got them together.”
“Well,
that's true, but it just seemed a little... far-fetched, I guess.”
“Ah,
well, I guess that was just after... nevermind.”
He
knew what she wanted to say, anyway. They stood there in silence for
a moment before Dan returned from the basement.
“Ah,
Dan's back, I guess I should probably get going. It was good to see
you again, Aidan.”
“Yeah,
you too.”
She
turned to leave, but then she stopped for a moment. “You know, we
should get together again sometime, for old time's sake. I have a
new place now, so I'll give you my new number. Maybe you could give
me a call sometime.”
“All
right, we'll see.”
Tina
returned to talk to Dan for a moment, then she went to see the kids.
Aidan doubted that he would call her any time soon. She was still
his friend in a way, but they had drifted too far apart. They were
basically just strangers at a party now.
Aidan
took a seat in one of the chairs and just sat down for a while, not
sorry to be away from it all for a moment. It had been kind of a
strange evening. Dan and Nicole had definitely changed a lot, but
Aidan felt like he had barely changed at all, and he couldn't shake
the feeling that he didn't really belong here anymore. He thought
back to the nights they used to spend in that bar, back when Dan's
desire to ask Nicole out on a date was just a pipe dream. What had
he done differently that things had worked out for him? He tried to
remember if there was anything that had set them apart.
“Dan,
honey, could you run this bag out to the curb? I'm trying to get the
kitchen cleaned up.”
“All
right, sweetie, I'll be back in a sec.”
Aidan
followed him out. It was a crisp, dark night tonight, not unlike
another night they'd been out together, a long time ago.
“Oh,
hey Aidan. Enjoying the party?”
“Yeah,
it's been great. You're a very lucky man, Daniel.”
“Heh,
I sure am, and I owe a lot of that to you, buddy”. He slapped
Aidan on the back. “We should see each other more often, you
know?”
“Yeah.
You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you.”
“What's
that?”
“Do
you remember a long time ago you told me that you sometimes had these
dreams that seemed so real you could hardly tell them apart from
reality?”
Dan
thought for a moment. “...Not really, no.”
“Well,
you were pretty drunk at the time”, Aidan admitted. Dan laughed.
“Do
you ever still have dreams like that?”
“Well,
maybe sometimes, but most of my dreams are about my family now.
Besides, they're just dreams. It's what we do in this world that
matters.”
“Yeah,
I suppose you're right. We should probably head back inside.”
Not
too much later they said their goodbyes. Aidan had to leave in time
to catch the last train, and a few of the other guests were leaving
as well. He thought about what Dan had said as he made his way back
to the train station. It made a lot of sense, but he couldn't quite
forget what he had felt, either. He wondered just what Dan had
dreamt about way back then, and how different his own life might have
been if he had chosen to ignore those dreams all those years ago.
There were a lot of of thoughts going through his mind, and he also
found he was very tired. It had been a long day, and when he finally
reached his seat on the train he found himself starting to doze.
Half-awake, he stared absent-mindedly out the window and watched the
city go by.
Then
he saw it.
The
moon, shining over the bay, bathing the water in shimmering white
light, just like it had been that first night with Nisha. He was
alone now, but it was still just as captivating as it had been all
those years ago when she had first shown it to him. All this time,
he had always thought that he needed her to appreciate the beautiful
things in life, but it was a part of him now. That was her gift to
him, and it had never been taken away. For the first time, he
thought back on the time they had spent together and remembered it
happily instead of feeling full of regret.
“We
had a good time together”, he thought, looking out over the bay.
“Maybe it's time for me to move on.”
It
wasn't the first time he'd thought about letting her go, but he had
always been afraid that there would be nothing left for him
afterwards if he did. He had been trying to stop time for the last
ten years, but it had kept moving forward anyway. Looking out at the
full moon, he felt like he was ready to live again.
Yet
one thought lingered in his mind. What about her? Was she doing all
right? He remembered the way she had appeared in his dream, crying,
broken, and he had felt compelled to protect her. She seemed so
upset when she had left, too. Had she recovered and moved on with
her life by now, or was she still suffering? He couldn't quite bring
himself to abandon her if she still needed him.
“Nisha,”
he silently asked the sky, “are you looking at the same moon
tonight?”
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